It is almost audible, that sound that goes off in my head when I meet someone that I ‘click’ with almost immediately. I love the sound, I love the feeling. It is exciting to connect with another human being at a completely different level. It is like they crawl straight into your head. Feeling comfortable and like you have known someone forever in a blink is just an incredible thing. You look that person straight in the eye and you just know. The proverbial sparks fly.
The problem is that this just doesn’t happen nearly enough for my liking and this is what has me pondering. What is it? What makes that particular person different from the rest? And so quickly?
I love my quiet time but when I am in the mood and comfortable I can be a fairly outgoing person. I seem to connect (which is different than ‘clicking’) with a lot of people and I count my blessings that I have a fair amount of amazing friends in my life. While I largely consider myself an introvert my friends would likely disagree but they are my friends and are in my comfort zone. Meeting new people is a tad more difficult for me and ‘clicking’ with someone is very rare.
As I navigate this particular phase of my life I have found myself pondering this more than once. The voices in my head typically demand that I address it if I keep thinking about it. It is usually a good move to shut them up.
So what makes this tiny handful of people in my life different? I could point to a lot of the obvious things like having similar interests, shared passions, comparable life situations and stuff like that but I don’t think that is it.
I don’t think it boils down to doing the same kind of work, having common friends or similar hobbies. While all of that certainly plays a part in connecting with people I have many friends with whom I have little in common besides the fact that we just like each other.
The more I think about this and look at the people that I have ‘clicked’ with, the more I believe that it has nothing to do with common interests.
I think it has everything to do with being open minded, emotionally available (which is hard), authentic and not afraid to be yourself. If two people happen to be lucky enough to be able to meet and be in that mental place at the same time and THEN discover the common connection – the magic happens. You can feel the honesty in connecting with a person that is showing you their authentic self. No games, no baloney. It’s like a lightning bolt!
Don’t get me wrong, laying yourself open right out of the gate is incredibly difficult and risky. You open up and share your true self and you have a very good chance of getting hurt.
On the other hand, you just might get lightning bolts. For me, I think it is worth the risk!